u003cpu003eAhhh, the modern workplace: a cauldron of stress and anxiety. From the moment we accept a new role, we're thrown into a world of competing personalities, shifting protocols, and an endless stream of emails, Slack messages, and Zoom calls, all of which serve to distract us from the things we truly want to be doing, like eating Thai food and sleeping until noon.u003c/pu003eu003cpu003eI Hope This Email Finds You Never puts aside the motivational screeds, productivity hacks, and pop-science, and focuses instead on those things in the workplace that truly cause us grief--like a coworker eating an apple during a video call--in a lighthearted, entertaining, and (most importantly) cynical way.u003c/pu003eu003cpu003eSome things you'll learn: u003c/pu003eu003culu003eu003cliu003eHow long you can get away with being "new" until you're held accountableu003c/liu003eu003cliu003eHow to make it look like you're sorry without giving up any poweru003c/liu003eu003cliu003eHow to find a workplace friend and make a workplace enemyu003c/liu003eu003cliu003eCamera position: how to set up your laptop for maximum dominanceu003c/liu003eu003cliu003eOrganizing your calendar while leaving time to cryu003c/liu003eu003cliu003eThe rules of the kitchen (stealing someone's yogurt is literally a crime)u003c/liu003eu003cliu003eWriting a letter of resignation when you've already been resigned from day oneu003c/liu003eu003c/ulu003eu003cpu003e u003c/pu003eu003cpu003eFrom Orientation (The Descent), Workplace Etiquette (No Eye Contact Before 11 AM), Working Remotely (Wink Wink), Coworkers (Getting Along with your fellow inmates), and everything in between, I Hope This Email Finds You Never is your must-have guide to surviving (thriving is not realistic) in the modern workplace.u003c/pu003e